Today I’m going to get a little bit more serious than I usually am.
Throughout my life I’ve grown up surrounded by amazing people who have helped me become me. From my parents to my sisters to my cousins to my best friends, I’ve been extremely fortunate enough to have them all. But this post is for those who feel like there is nobody on their side. For those who feel like they’re not heard, like they’re nothing, and like they are anything less than extraordinary. Growing up in a small Mormon dominated city, it’s been anything but easy growing up as myself. I’ve strived my entire life to impress people and make myself look like I have it all together. But most recently, I’ve come to some serious terms with myself. I am not who others want me to be, I am not what society says I should be, and I am nothing and no one besides me. The idea behind this post is to uplift and encourage those who aren’t as heard and supported. And I want to thank my family and friends for constantly pushing me and loving me. Mostly to my parents for being so giving and gracious to my sisters and I and for giving me so much love and care. I’m sorry to have let you down and I hope I can continue my life by making you proud and content.
Anyways, most recently I’ve began to accept myself and the things that make me, me. Also most recently, I’ve developed some bad habits. I won’t say any specifics but I’ve made some choices that aren’t the smartest. Why is that? It might have something to do with the fact that I’ve felt different my entire life. I’ve felt so abnormal and unusual next to the other boys. And for one split second, I felt like I was just another guy. Like I was just a teenager around other teenagers, no matter what activity were doing. I’ve finally discovered that the reason I’ve made so many bad decisions, is because I need to feel like I belong for even just 20 minutes. I strive to feel even minimally normal. But I’m just now realizing that I don’t need that stuff to feel/be normal or extraordinary. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone, I don’t need to impress anyone. Not only me, but you do not need negative outlets to belong somewhere. You need to be around people who accept you and who love you. So to anyone who feels different, outcast, abnormal, ordinary, or like they need things like drugs, harsh words, or partying etc to feel like you belong, you don’t and it always always gets better. Have a great week and stay fab!